The purpose for today’s blog is to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about deaf people. These five questions came from the most searched terms related to the keyword “deaf” according to SEMrush. Please note that I am answering based on my own personal experience as a lowercase deaf individual who has profound hearing loss but has never been a part of the Deaf community.
1. Can Deaf People Drive?
Yes, and I just ran over the last person that asked me that question.
But seriously, why wouldn’t a deaf person be able to drive? If you’re deaf-blind then okay I can definitely see why you wouldn’t be able to drive (no pun intended), but this question specifically calls out deaf people, not deaf-blind people. While being able to hear things like sirens would certainly be beneficial for driving, it’s not actually a requirement so long as you can see.
Did you know most deaf people actually have really strong perceptive vision? My boyfriend is always amazed by my ability to spot a car coming from miles away because I can always see the lights out of the corner of my eye. Since deaf people can’t hear, they rely on the eye sight to make up for it. What this means in terms of driving is that deaf people will always be alert and aware of their surroundings and they will be able to see the flashing sirens, even if they can’t hear them. Some may even argue that BECAUSE deaf people can’t hear they will actually be more careful and cautious drivers. That of course is up for debate. I’ll let you know the verdict on that one once I receive my license. 😉
2. What language do deaf people think in?
Seriously? This question is so dumb it makes my brain hurt.
Deaf people think in the same language(s) they speak in. This goes for all deaf people including those who are deaf with a lowercase d, those who are culturally Deaf and use sign language, and those who are non-verbal. Just because you’re deaf does not mean you lose your ability to think or that the way in which you think is any different from that of a hearing person.
Also, those who are non-verbal may still be able to understand spoken and written language and will still very much have a native language (or maybe even more than one). I think that one thing that most people get wrong about deaf people that are non-verbal is that they assume that because they are non-verbal they must be dumb. In actuality, most deaf people that are non-verbal choose not to speak with their voice because they can’t hear themselves speak and it’s a self-conscious thing or not something they feel comfortable with. Some of them may not have had speech therapy, so they may be aware of the fact that their pronunciations may seem strange to someone who is hearing which may make them feel uncomfortable. Others may have limited hearing and not like the sounds of their own voice. Whatever the case may be the important takeaway here is that even non-verbal deaf individuals can be highly intelligent and most often are.
Similarly, some people may be under the wrong impression that culturally Deaf individuals that are fluent in sign language must not be able to think in that language since sign language is a non-verbal language. This assumption is also false. I could be wrong, but I have a hard time imagining deaf people thinking in terms of signs. Rather, I think they think like you and me do in their own native languages.
It’s important to note here that sign language is not a universal language; there’s actually many variations of it. American Sign Language most closely resembles the French written language, but there’s also British Sign Language, South African Sign Language, Afghan Sign Language, and hundreds others even including Jamaican Sign Language! While not a verbal language, they still hold many of the same structures as verbal and written languages do including having verb tenses, parts of speech, subject-verb agreements, etc. When deaf people think I believe that they are thinking in terms of these sentence structures even if they aren’t actually hearing spoken language.
3. Can deaf people talk?
This kind of goes back to what I was saying in my last answer. Generally speaking, the answer is yes nearly all deaf people are CAPABLE of talking. However, some Deaf people may choose not to talk with their voices.
It’s important to note that many Deaf people, and even myself as a lowercase/non-culturally deaf individual hold the belief that you don’t need to use your voice or to speak to communicate. “Talk” means to say something verbally, but “communicate” means to simply share or exchange information, news or, ideas. There are many ways in which a person can communicate. Many Deaf people prefer to use sign language to communicate, but even that isn’t their only option. For me personally I prefer to communicate via social media, E-mail, text messages, and hand-written notes.
4. How do deaf people think?
With our brains, duh.
This bothers me though since so many people think that deaf is synonymous for dumb or learning disabled. Yes, some deaf people have other disabilities including learning disabilities or lower IQs, but as with all things in life, this doesn’t mean ALL deaf people have learning disabilities or low IQs.
In fact, there are many deaf people who are highly intelligent. Some of the smartest deaf people include:
- Laurent Clerc – The first deaf teacher in America who founded the very first school for the deaf in North America. He was extremely influential in showing that not all deaf people are “deaf and dumb”
- Thomas Gallaudet – a teacher whom Gallaudet University is named after; he co-founded it with Laurent Clerc
- Heather Whitestone McCallum – The first, and quite possibly to this day only, deaf Miss America. She is an influential advocate for deaf rights and she also served on the United States’ National Council on Disability in the past.
- Juliette Low – The founder of Girl Scouts in America
- Rush Limbaugh – An American talk show host and Republican political commentator
- Alexander Graham Bell – Inventor of the telephone
- Vinton Cerf – the “Father of the Internet”
- Thomas Edison – A famous inventor
- Helen Keller – The first deaf-blind woman to earn a bachelor’s degree. One of the most famous women in US history.
Deaf people think in the same way that non-deaf people do. I know it may sound strange, but like I said earlier, you use your brain to think…not your ears.
5. How do deaf people date?
Girl meets boy.
Boy meets girl.
Girl likes boy.
Boy likes girl.
Girl asks boy out.
Boy asks girl out.
Girl and boy live happily ever after.
Boy and girl live happily ever after.
But no, seriously. Dating is dating is dating is dating. It really doesn’t matter if you’re deaf or hearing, it’s all the same.
With that being said, some deaf people only date other deaf people. This may be due to them having a lot in common with their hearing loss and being able to relate well to one another. Those who are capital D Deaf may choose to only date others who are either capital d Deaf or even lowercase d deaf because it fits in with their culture. These individuals use sign language as a primary language and likely attend a Deaf school and exist in Deaf world. They may have limited access to mainstream society, so this is probably what they are most comfortable with.
In my own personal experience I’ve only ever dated people who are hearing. It’s not that I am against dating another deaf or even Deaf person, it’s just that I never really met one that I was romantically interested in and now I have found my forever person who happens to be hearing. This is likely because I’ve always been mainstreamed and lived in the hearing world. I do not know any sign language and I am not a part of the Deaf with a capital D culture. Dating a hearing person comes naturally to me and is what I am comfortable with.
Just as non-hearing people have their preferences and likes and dislikes and turn ons/turn offs and deal breakers and makers, so do deaf people.
But when it comes down to actual dating, it’s pretty much the same. Deaf people still like to go out to eat, watch movies, go bowling, go golfing, go shopping, etc.
Some deaf people may prefer to go to places that are quieter so it’s easier for them to hear. Well-lite places may also be helpful so that they can see and read lips or see signs more clearly if they use sign language as a primary means of communication. But for the most part, deaf people are just looking to have a good time the same way hearing people are.
I hope my answers to the five most commonly asked questions on being deaf helped to shed light on what it’s really like to live without hearing. The most important thing I hope you take from today’s blog post is that the deaf can do anything the hearing can do except hear. We all want to be treated the same as a hearing person would be treated because we *are* the same. Our ears don’t work but we still have the same needs, desires, passions, interests, and lifestyles for the most part.
This week I read 1 Corinthians 14 and it made me think a lot about the history of American Sign Language actually. In 1 Corinthians 14, Paul is talking to the church of Corinth about speaking in tongues. He acknowledges the ability to speak in tongues as being a spiritual gift from God, however, he strongly urges the church of Corinth not to practice the speaking of tongues unless everyone can do it. Paul explains this by stating, “He that speaketh in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understandeth him; howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries.” Men that possess the spiritual gift of speaking in tongues can use it to speak to God, yes, but they shouldn’t use it to speak with the rest of the congregation because they won’t be able to understand him. When we enter the church it should be to honor and glorify God and to help our brothers and sisters and Christ to do the same and to better come to know God and his words. If we can’t even understand what the members of the body of Christ are saying then how can we really come to know God and learn at church, let alone properly worship him in his home?
Paul went so far as to suggest that speaking in tongues could be the equivalent of just making noise without understanding what that noise actually means in verses 7-11. Here he states:
And even things without life giving sound, whether pipe or harp, except they give a distinction in the sounds, how shall it be known what is piped or harped? For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle? So likewise ye, except ye utter by the tongue words easy to be understood, how shall it be known what is spoken? For ye shall speak into the air. There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification. Therefore if I know not the meaning of the voice, I shall be unto him that speaketh a barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a barbarian unto me (1751).
Wow, definitely a lot of things going on in these verses! Let’s look at the first part of this first, verses 7-8:
“And even things without life giving sound, whether pipe or harp, except they give a distinction in the sounds, how shall it be known what is piped or harped? For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?”
A deaf person may never hear the sounds of a pipe, harp, or trumpet. You could blow that trumpet as hard as humanly possible and that deaf person may never prepare himself to battle if that’s all he has to go on because he’ll never know. To him, the sound of a trumpet is completely meaningless.
For me prior to getting my cochlear implant, I missed out on many sounds. I’ve discovered many of them since getting my cochlear implants, but every day I am also still learning more and more sounds. It’s not uncommon for me to jump a little in class as a train goes by or someone talks or fidgets or I hear an unknown sound. I’m constantly trying to define the source of the sound and what it means. This is what the congregation must’ve been like back in Paul’s time when they tried to understand what the speaker was saying when he spoke in tongues that they did not understand.
I also relate this to ASL. The Deaf community needs ASL so that they can understand what is being said in the church. To them, the verbal communication means nothing. They have no idea what the pastor is preaching without the use of ASL. They will never hear the gospel or understand the message that day. The pastor might as well be speaking in tongues because they’d never know otherwise. Here, Thomas Gallaudet’s arguments for using sign language in the church makes sense.
But hold that thought…
Thomas Gallaudet and the manualists didn’t just think that the use of sign language in the church would help the deaf to better understand sermons; they took it a step further. Gallaudet along with the other manualists felt that sign language would bring the deaf closer to God. In Tracy Morse’s dissertation, “Saving Grace: Religious Rhetoric in the Deaf Community,” she quotes Douglas Baynton’s Forbidden Signs when she says:
For manualists, this view was interpreted in Protestant terms: sign language was an original language and meant “closer to the Creation,” not inferiority (Baynton “Savages” 98). However, for oralists, sign language was associated with lower evolution or “inferior races” (Baynton Forbidden 9). Oralists made arguments that deaf students needed to learn spoken English and lip reading or they would be viewed as animals or savages (Morse 51).
Now, let’s look back to the scripture and focus on verse 11 which states, “Therefore if I know not the meaning of the voice, I shall be unto him that speaketh a barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a barbarian unto me.
The word “barbarian” here is what stands out the most to me. Do you know who else really loves the word “barbarian”? Alexander Graham Bell who was NOT a manualist like Thomas Gallaudet, but rather an oralist that believed that the deaf needed to move away from sign language and instead learn to speak verbally and read lips and live in the hearing world.
So, what am I saying here? Do I think that this verse is saying sign language is barbaric? Absolutely not, but at the same time, it could be absolutely so. So it’s a yes and a no for me.
Here is what I think that verse is saying, or what the core message Paul has for the church of Corinth is:
We need to speak in a way that people can understand what we are saying in church so as to not cause confusion or anything that can inhibit man’s understanding of the gospel and man’s ability to honor and glorify the lord.
Back in the time of the church of Corinth, speaking in tongues was a barrier for people in the church because it might have benefited the person speaking it, but it did not benefit the church. Paul is calling for the unity of the church – everyone needs to unite as the body as Christ and work in a way that best serves God and not themselves and that involves speaking a universal language they can all understand.
What does this mean for the deaf in the church? Should they be forced to lip-read and practice the oral method? No. I think the deaf should have a right to hear the sermon in a way that is the most accessible to them. Many churches offer the hearing loop to help hard of hearing and deaf people to hear (depending on the degree of hearing loss of course). If a deaf person needs an interpreter, they should have access to it.
If the majority of church attendees are Deaf and rely on sign language, then perhaps that church should consider doing full sermons primarily in ASL, as that is what will benefit that church and help the attendees to learn and honor and glorify God the best.
We don’t have to worry too much about the speaking of tongues in modern day. 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, “Whether there be tongues they shall cease”. People cannot speak in tongues today (I acknowledge that many claim they do – I have my own feelings on that but I’ll be nice and go the route of “no comment” on that…). I think that whereas the church of Corinth had to worry about the speaking in tongues today our issue is more or less about what language or what style/tone to use in church. I think it all depends on the congregation and choosing what is the most accessible to your church goers.
Going back to the discussion on the deaf community…
In Baynton’s Forbidden Signs he explains how many oralists feared that by relying too heavily on sign language the deaf community would isolate themselves from the rest of the world. He stated:
Like their contemporaries in other fields of reform, oralists worried that the lives of people were diminished by being a part of such communities as the deaf community; they would not, it was feared, fully share in the life of the nation. The deaf community, like ethnic communities, narrowed the minds and outlooks of its members. “The individual must be one with race,” one wrote in words reminiscent of many other Progressive reformers “or he is virtually annihilated”; the chief curse of deafness was “apartness from the life of the world,” and it was just this that oralism was designed to remedy. Apartness was the darkness manualists redefined for a new world (Baynton 32).
Sign language was (and still is) very different from spoken English or any spoken language, really It’s different from what the majority is speaking and when people can’t speak our language, either they or we miss out. Isn’t this the same as what was going on in the church of Corinth in a way? Paul wanted to see the church of Corinth come together to honor, serve, and glorify the Lord and to unite as the body of Christ. Speaking in tongues was something very few church members could do that caused a separation or divide between those who could speak and understand it, and those who could not. It became a distraction that kept people from coming to know God.
Is sign language a distraction that keeps the deaf from doing things in their daily lives? It is obvious that it causes a divide from the hearing and the deaf worlds. In the church, it can make things better for the deaf and I can see how it can strengthen their personal relationships with God, but if we only signed and didn’t speak spoken English, the rest of the congregation would suffer. I don’t see sign language as being a form of language that brings a person closer to God in the sense of it’s a superior or holier language than standard English. I think it’s just another language that for some is their primary and therefore the best and for others is just another language in the world that exists but one they don’t partake in or use in their daily lives.
Yesterday was quite the day.
I had my evaluation at Jefferson for my second cochlear implant. The day started out pretty well. I was off of work so getting to sleep in a couple extra hours was definitely a perk for one. For two, before I even left for Jefferson, they called me to let me know my insurance was approved.
However, there was a slight catch…
I had to meet the criteria.
I’ll be honest I completely ignored the part about meeting the criteria. After all, Dr. Wilcox did say during my last appointment that it was just a manner of “Crossing our t’s and dotting our i’s”. I knew that I was deaf in my right ear every bit as much as I was in my left ear that I already had implanted. I knew that none of this has changed in the last year. I knew that I didn’t benefit at all from my hearing aid (before I broke it I mean). There’s no reason why I shouldn’t have been a candidate…
However, they left out the part about meeting the criteria being based off of how well you do in the best aided conditions and that for me that would mean how well I do with one cochlear already on…
I had a new audiologist for my appointment since my usual one, Louisa, was on vacation. The audiologist’s name was Paula and she was working with her extern, Alyssa. She was a lot different than Louisa, but seemed nice enough. She said there was no guarantee I’d qualify, but we’d test and see.
I had to do a series of hearing tests that were identical to the ones I did last year for my first cochlear implant evaluation. First they tested me for being able to hear the beep with my cochlear and a hearing aid on (they had a hearing aid for me to borrow). Next they tested me with my cochlear and hearing aid on for sentences without background noise. Then they did it with background noise. The last tests they did were without my cochlear on and for both beeps and sentences.
I did okay on the tests with my cochlear. The cochlear in my left ear certainly helped,but I still didn’t have “perfect” hearing. I noticed that I couldn’t hear from my right ear. Having the cochlear in my left ear helped me with word recognition a bit, but no so much for general sounds especially softer ones and high-frequency.
I got a 73% for the sound and 99% on my word recognition with my cochlear. However, once they took my cochlear off I scored a 0. I am deaf in my right ear. I can’t hear anything at all. Excuse my language, but the direct quote from my audiologist regarding my hearing (or actually lack thereof in my right ear) is that “You can’t hear shit”.
The blue lines show my left ear without my cochlear. The red circles are my right ear. The S’s are where I am with one cochlear implant. What a difference! I can only imagine how great I’ll do with 2 implants if I can get insurance to approve it!
Unfortunately, the FDA says that in order to qualify for this surgery, I have to score a 60% or below in the best aided conditions. Since I score 73% I did too well. That doesn’t mean though that I can’t get the surgery. I had to have Dr. Wilcox and my audiologist, Paula, submit a pre-cert. What this does is explains the test results and why they still believe I would benefit from getting my second cochlear implant and why they recommend it.
They also had me fill out a quality of life survey to submit to the insurance company. This tells the insurance company a little bit of information about how my hearing loss affects my daily life. It asked me about how I perform in social situations, what my dating life was like, how I viewed and felt about myself, etc. I explained how I sometimes skipped social events if I thought it would be too awkward or too loud and I wouldn’t hear well enough. My love life? Yeah my hearing has definitely mad an impact on that. I was in an abusive relationship in the past where my ex would yell at me and make me feel bad for my hearing all the time. My most recent ex was pretty good with my hearing (FYI, that guy I previously wrote about a lot? We just broke up. But that’s another story), but that’s not usually how it works.
Dr. Wilcox went ahead and scheduled my surgery. He said this would force the insurance company to act and make a decision about whether or not they’d cover my surgery. However, we had to schedule it out far in advance (not as soon as last time — last time we scheduled it exactly 1 week after my evaluation!) to give them enough time to make a decision.
So my (tentative) date of surgery is………………………………….
December 14th! If this date remains and insurance is approved I will have my implant just in time for Christmas and will have my stitches out (and be able to wash my hair — thank god lol) the day before Christmas Eve. The receptionists who scheduled it said if insurance approves my surgery before that date we can always move it up though which is what I plan on doing of course.
I also have to go back for pre-testing on December 2nd like I did last time. Exact same procedure.
I didn’t pick out a color for my cochlear or what accessories I want yet, but if it gets approved I will. I’m leaning towards silver. I definitely want a different color from the caribbean blue that I already have. I can never match or be normal of course lol.
I’m feeling a wide range of emotions in regards to my testing. On one side I’m disappointed because I thought for sure I’d be eligible with no questions asked and schedule my surgery right away. But on the other hand I feel blessed to have scored as well as I did on my test. To have 30% hearing is a miracle to me. 73% is something I never imagined I could possibly have. If this is the most I’ll ever have, that alone is a true blessing.
All that I can really do now is just pray and hope for the best. I put it all on God’s hands and trust that he’ll lead me down the right path. It’s as my pastor tells me, the Lord already has the answer and knows what is best for me and he will reveal all of his incredible plans for me over time.
Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers during this time. I do still have a good feeling about it because I know my surgeon is a strong advocate for it. He definitely supports me getting a 2nd cochlear implant and I know that he was making sure to carefully word his pre-cert for the insurance company. Also, my surgeon is a Christian that has called me on a Sunday before my first surgery in the past to pray with me. I know that prayer can make all of the difference in the world right now.
It’s been just shy of 11 months since I receive my cochlear implant and 10 months since I’ve been activated. I have definitely made amazing progress. I hear very well now, sometimes even too well.
But my confession? Despite all I went through to hear, sometimes I really don’t want to hear.
I know receiving my hearing has been a blessing and I am eternally grateful for it. My biggest and only regret is that I didn’t do this sooner. I can’t wait to get my 2nd implant over the next 2 months.
However, I am glad I wasn’t born with the ability to hear. I am glad that it’s a magnet that I can take off at any given time, therefore removing my ability to hear.
Don’t get me wrong, most of the time I want to hear, but then there are those times when I hear too much and the fact that I can hear becomes a bit annoying. I find myself resisting the urge to scream “Shut up” when people at work are talking and I have to take a call at my desk. I hear other people’s conversations whenever I’m in the same room as them and I don’t want to hear it. I hear random sounds I never picked up in the past (I actually heard a man flushing a urinal the other day…the door was opened right as someone else flushed it. The fact that I could hear it was strange to me and a little awkward…)
Sometimes, I just want peace and quiet.
My biggest issue isn’t that I can hear sounds now, but that it’s a distraction to me. I have a very hard time focusing on anything but the sounds that I hear. I cannot listen to music most of the time when I work because it gets too distracting. Sometimes I can work around it, but if it’s a radio station where people are talking, forget it. I can’t read if people are talking, the radio is on, or any kind of noise is taking place. I have become extremely sensitive to outside noise and I am unable to block most of it out. “Background noise” doesn’t exist that much for me anymore.
I was talking to my boyfriend, Larry about this tonight. He says he doesn’t have this problem. I think it’s because he’s had the ability to hear his whole life unlike me. I think that it never bothered me in the past because I couldn’t hear these noises — it was like they never existed at all. Now suddenly I can hear them and it’s like a new world for me and my mind isn’t used to it. I need to work to train my mind to filter through what it wants to hear and what it can ignore.
Yes, my cochlear has filters for background noise. I used them when I went to Dave and Buster’s with my boyfriend and I use them a lot when we go out to eat, but this is not the same. This isn’t real “background noise” to filter through. It’s a matter of being able to hear sounds, some expected and some unexpected, and not be so distracted by them as to lose focus on what I was or am currently trying to do.
It’s different for people that have always had their hearing like Larry. They were probably born with this ability to filter through sound and not become distracted by it, because it’s what they’ve been doing their whole lives. It’s nothing new for them like it is for me.
I love that I can hear. Obviously, or else I wouldn’t be looking to get my second implant, but this hearing thing still takes some getting used to. I think my hearing loss is a blessing.I love that I can turn it on and off. If I had to hear EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME I think I’d lose my mind.